Dutch courage

At this moment, there's some uproar at Dutch grammar schools. Some of them refused to distribute a free pro-gay magazine, paid for by the Dutch government, to their pupils. Now these schools find themselves in a situation in which they have to defend themselves against accusations of an anti-gay bias. There's even talk of an official government inquiry into gay intolerance.

Since I'm Dutch, and Dutch people always have an opinion about everything, I'd like to tell you what I think is really happening.

The Dutch government, not the grammar schools, are to blame for the current uproar on gay acceptation. Furthermore, the Dutch government have behaved with extreme cowardice. And finally, none of this has happened withoug being foreseen, or indeed planned.

Since most of you probably wouldn't have the patience to read through an elaborate history of the Netherlands, here's a summary (if you are an executive, please fill in that word yourself) of what's happened since 1848.
1. Dutch society has long been based on the principle of balancing out differences.
2. When differences couldn't be reconciled, the Dutch have traditionally adopted a policy of non-interference.
3. This caused some problems in the area of schools, as non-religious schools could get government financing, but non-secular ones could not. After a major political battle, the so-called 'School Strife', the Dutch constitution was ammended to provide for state financing for all schools, whether ideological or not.

As of late, this policy has caused the government some problems. Several Islamic families and foundations have rightly claimed that the constitution allows them to claim government funding for Islamic schools. This poses some problems similar to those at so-called 'black schools', which have a large percentage of immigrant and/or Islamic pupils. It's well known that these schools, as well as some orthodox Christian ones, have rather stern opinions on gays. Although Christians are slowly dying out in this country, Muslims are not. Doing something about it has always been a problem though. Muslims are being considered a threatened minority, just as much as gays. The Dutch press has been talking for more than a week about one police bust which wrongly targeted a Muslim family in Utrecht. Obviously, this is a mine field you do not want to get into if you're a government that's already under heavy criticism.

So how do you tell one minority to respect another?

You try to provoke the other party into action.

Some 420,000 copies of gay magazine Expreszo were sent out, apparently without warning, to nearly all grammar schools in the Netherlands.

The magazine was in itself benign. Well, relatively speaking. It contained crude language and gay couples kissing. These are not things that would shock many urban Dutchies. However, it is probably just enough to infuriate some Christian schools. I've attended several. They don't like people snogging one another, and the threshold for something to be considered profanity is much lower. (Yes, the pupils probably do curse as as well as participate in the odd snog, but that's not the point - official school policy is the issue here.) The magazine also didn't get a warm reception at many 'black schools', for very similar reasons. Orthodox Islam and Christian teachings have some similarities, which isn't all that weird since they both have their roots in Judaism.

So by having this gay magazine printed and distributed, the government really left certain schools no choice but to send it back or to dump it in the garbage bin.

Unless we are governed by extremely stupid people, it's implausible that no one anticipated this course of events.

The added advantage, of course, is that Christian schools are involved. They serve to deflect attention from similar opinions at 'black schools'. Criticizing Christians is considered a virtue in this country, since they were once one of the dominant factions in this country, and we tend not to like authority figures (although most of us really enjoy it when they fall from grace).

Now the government has an excellent excuse for dealing with gay intolerance, whilst at the same time being shielded from being biased against Islam (or anything else, for that matter). It's efficient and effective, but I'm not sure it's something to be proud of.

23:52

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Book a trip to Iraq! And enjoy:

• The flight from Kuwait to Baghdad, on a military plane 'with missile diverting technology'
• The trip from the airport to the Green Zone, with 'a convoy of at least three vehicles with armoured protection and two armed soldiers in each one'
• Our spacious accomodations, bunking in portacabins with 'bomb proof roofs'
• Mandatory bulletproof vests, provided courtesy of the British government!
• Insurance arrangements which cover a maximum of L 250,000 in damages. That's if you die. Losing a leg probably yields less.

In other words, Tudor's response to my email with questions about the safety situation in Iraq made for interesting reading.

The funny thing is, I can live with the hazards (that is, while I'm still alive, obviously). But being Dutch, the thing that worries me most, is the miserably low insurance payout. I'd like to get paid a few millions if I get disabled. The fact that it doesn't, genuinely worries me more than the risk of getting killed. Does that say something about our fair nation? That we don't mind being shot, as long as someone pays for a decent casket? In other words: ignore the risks, just not the possible consequences.

I had a good conversation as well today with the Dutch embassy in Baghdad. The gentleman on the other side told me he'd already been hit by a bullet once although he was rather vague on the details. The Dutch embassy however is not in the Green Zone. Instead, it's in-between the Green Zone (or formally: the International Zone) and Sadr City, the latter not exactly being the most friendly neighbourhood. He told me to send him an email or to call him on his cell if I were to go. He asked me to register myself with them should I go, and even said that someone of the Dutch embassy might want to meet up with me in the Green Zone. Funny. I've never felt more proud of this nation than when I heard that. It made me proud to hear the expression 'Dutch courage' being proved wrong.

I also talked to Gerard van der Zande of DSM. DSM is a Dutch company that produces Dyneema, a synthetic fibre used in body armor. I wrote an article on Dyneema a few years ago for Elsevier News Weekly (for all you Yanks and Poms: the largest news weekly in the Netherlands with a circulation of over 140,000). He recommended I should go, and also told me lots of stuff which eased my mind. Gerard is sort of a war veteran. He served with the Dutch army as a PR officer during the Balkan wars. He told me the front line is usually the safest place, as people there tend to be prepared for trouble, whereas they get sloppy in the supposedly safer areas. The Green Zone is pretty much the front line.

Then again, Arendo, the editor of Elsevier News Weekly, was far less enthusiastic. He promised to send me an explanation tomorrow. To make things even more interesting, Tudor (for those who haven't been paying attention: the guy who wants to hire me) has also indicated it's possible to move the whole thing to Amman. That's in Jordan, for those who are geographically challenged. There is even the possibility of doing a Kerry: saying 'yes' to Iraq now, and flipflop later, for example when the security situation in the Green Zone deteriorates. If that were to happen, we could still do a last-minute rescheduling to Jordan. For now, my biggest issue is with the insurance arrangements.

It's a hard call. The hardest one I ever made. Should I go or not?

0:05

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