I spent nearly a day without internet thanks to the fine people at Demon Internet. In light of my appreciation for the quality of service they provide (this wasn't the first time I got some unexpected spare time), I've prepared some slogans for their next ad campaign:
Start your time in purgatory here on Earth! Use Demon Internet!
Good sys admins go to heaven, bad sys admins get a job offer at Demon Internet.
Subscribe to Demon Internet now, and get a free apocalyptic horse to bring you to the nearest internet cafe anytime you please. You'll need it!
OK, the last one wasn't really catchy but then again, neither is Demon Internet. It sure smells like brimstone here.