North or South?

Someone seems to be trying to incite a new Civil War.

13:14

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Why not whiskey?

Caffeinated beer.

12:58

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For the troops

The funny thing about this beautiful compilation of photographs is that a lot of them come from the files of Reuters and the AP. Why then, haven't I seen most of them before? No wait, don't answer that.

By the way, if there's an artist out there who can do the same for the Dutch troops in As Samawah, I think that would be a great idea, and I would promote it here ad nauseum (1,400 unique visitors/day).

(Via Andrew Sullivan.)

12:35

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Weight loss update

2/1/2005: 100,4 kgs
9/1/2005: 98,0 kgs
16/1/2005: 97,7 kgs
23/1/2005: 97,4 kgs
30/1/2005: 95,5 kgs

This is really quite weird. Must be that sauna visit two days ago. I'm expecting a rebound next week, because this can't be right.

12:23

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New facts about radical Islamist network in the Netherlands

Just for Dutch people: new research into the Hofstadgroep, the terrorist network that Mohammed Bouyeri, the murderer of Van Gogh, allegedly belongs to. I am one of the journalists participating in the research. Bottom line: the prime minister was on the hit list as well.

Update 28/1/05, 17.35: here's an English language version of our findings by Expatica. Planet Internet, the company which hired me to participate in the research, is somewhere way down.

22:38

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Star Trek is now officially dead

I've just finished watching Kobol's Last Gleaming, the 13th and final episode of the first season of Battlestar Galactica. There are no words to do justice to the originality and ingenuity of producer Ronald D. Moore, so I will make no further attempt. Suffice it to say that BSG dwarfs everything that was produced in the past decade: that means Star Trek, the X-Files, and yes, Babylon 5 as well.
BSG may just do for scifi what Hill Street Blues and NYPD Blue did in their time for cop shows: rejuvenate the genre, and attract viewers who would in the past not have been interested in scifi. The fact is that SciFi Channel ordered six more scripts before the show even aired in the USA, solely based on ratings in the UK where Sky Channel has bought the rights to air it first.
Brannon and Braga will end where they belong: in the bargain section of my local dvd store.

10:07

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Weight loss update

2/1/2005: 100,4 kgs
9/1/2005: 98,0 kgs
16/1/2005: 97,7 kgs
23/1/2005: 97,4 kgs

OK, so it's not going as rapidly as I'd like. At this rate, I will only lose about a kilogram a month. On the plus side, help may be on the way. More news about that somewhere next week.

9:47

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Annoying songs from Germany

Click here and/or here. And when you're finished, you can do this test to determine whether you are German enough.

14:35

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Animal protection foundation up in arms about commercial

Which is why I show it here. For the record: no live pigeons were hurt in the making of this commercial.

14:01

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'A really sweet guy'

In Dutch: the rap sheet of the 'really sweet guy' who tried to rob a Dutch woman and got killed in the process.`

Update 24/1/05: Apparently, this is the rap sheet of a different guy than the robber who got killed last week. Which probably means you can still walk into him.

13:18

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Woman accused of manslaughter of criminal set free

In a surprising lapse of insanity, a Dutch judge has determined the woman who had been charged with the manslaughter of a 19 year old Dutch Moroccan who stole her purse, should be released immediately. As I described here, the woman tried to pursue the thief, but ended up crushing him against a tree.
In the Dutch legal system, a judge determines whether there are enough grounds for a suspect to be held whilst the district attorney tries to make his case. The fact that a judge decided this is not the case is a huge blow for the Dutch DA Office. In the view of many Dutch, the DA Office has of late been overly concerned with politically correct cases, such as the persecution of Dutch Special Forces soldier Eric O., who shot an Iraqi during his tour of duty in the province of Al Mutannah. O. (it's uncommon for Dutch police to release the surname of a suspect) has always maintained the Iraqi, who attempted to loot supplies, was killed by a ricochet. The fact that a judge has decided to set the woman free will probably prove many people right, at least in their own mind.
The woman is not off the hook just yet. The DA has announced she remains a suspect. Indeed, I hope as much as they do that this case will make it to court. My reasons are probably somewhat different, though. It's about time a triumvirate of judges (as is customary with suspects being accused of felonies in the Netherlands) made a ruling about the rights of Dutch citizens when it comes to self defense against criminals.

0:17

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Moroccan artist threatened

Remember the brave Dutch Moroccan (or Moroccan Dutch, whatever) artist I wrote about? Well, he's in hiding now. Figures.

13:25

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Dutch Moroccans unite to victimize themselves

They are headed by former MP Mohammed Rabbae, who in the 1980's tried to get Salman Rushdie's 'The Satanic Verses' prohibited. At the time, he said something along the lines of: 'Even if I'm the last Muslim left in the Netherlands, I will keep on trying to get this book outlawed.'
This enlightened fellow is now the co-author of a pamphlet written by a group of Dutch Moroccans. The pamphlet condemns the Dutch approach against terrorism as it points the finger at radical Islamists. According to the writers, this is unjustified. As we all know, when Christian fanatics bombed the USS Cole, blasted train passengers in Madrid to hell, and blew up the Twin Towers, nobody pointed a finger at them.
Meanwhile, the Moroccan community in Amsterdam is preparing for a march for a felon convicted of a robbery at gunpoint. The guy died on Monday after he and one of his friends had stolen the purse of a 43 year old woman. She then put her car in reverse, and killed the thief by crushing him against a tree. Now I agree the police should find out whether this was an accident (because the woman wanted to pursue the perpetrators) or manslaughter (because she wanted to take revenge). If the latter is the case, the woman should be convicted. The public prosecutor has already charged her with manslaughter, so it's up to the judge now.
Nevertheless, it is absolutely ridiculous to portray a thief as some sort of hero, or, in the words of one Moroccan on Dutch PBS: 'A good and sweet boy.'

Update 12.32: So some native Dutch are responding with cynicism, because we're really good at that. They've designed a bumper sticker, which states something along the lines of 'I go full throttle for my purse.' Take a look at it here.

11:49

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Saturday run in graphic form

Now you can exercise by proxy, by staring at the graphs of the workouts Blauw Oog and I have on Saturday nights. (Lots of beautiful women on the road as well in Utrecht on a dark evening, no need to worry about our social life.) Anyway, this graphic was made during the 5,5 km run described below, using a Philips-Nike MP3RUN, which is an obscenely expensive device consisting of a) an MP3-player, b) a Bluetooth enabled sensor which attaches to a shoe and tracks your progress. I've been testing it for quite a while now, as I had to write a review about it in NRC Handelsblad (a national Dutch quality newspaper). In that time, I've found it to be quite accurate. The only downside is the price tag of about 350 euros, which is excessive for a 256 MB player. Even if it does produce graphics like these:

(The parts where we slow down reflect time spent waiting at busy intersections.)

18:34

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Minor annoyances of life

• Having just exercised for over an hour, and feeling all freshed up, only to walk into a cloud of smoker's exhaust on my way out of the fitness center
• Stopping before a zebra crossing in a one lane street because a mother with her baby is trying to cross, only to find a Frenchman (go figure) tries to overtake you anyway, nearly hurting said pedestrians in the process
• Trying to drive into the street where you live, but nearly crashing into a road block which wasn't there when you left, meaning it was probably put there by construction workers who have been terrorizing the neighborhood for five consecutive months already

If any Americans still don't understand why Europe has gun control laws, this is why. Because it sure as hell is good I can't get my hands on one today. Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Phew, that feels better.

(In no way does low blood sugar due to intense dieting have anything to do with my explosive mood. No sir.)

17:45

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Countdown to another murder

Not that I don't admire his chutzpah, but if I were Rachid Ben Ali I would be driving to Belgium right now to buy a gun and a bulletproof vest. Or make that full body armor. Ben Ali is a Dutch artist of Moroccan descent who has produced several works of art following Theo van Gogh's assassination. But despite his ethnicity, I sincerely doubt if he's going to score any popularity points with his fellow Moroccans now his most recent exposition has opened in the Cobra Museum, based in the Amsterdam suburb of Amstelveen.
Why?
Well, his paintings show imams having sex, as well as imams eating human excrements. You can view some pictures here.
It's not much different from Dutch author Gerard Reve, who wrote about having sex with the Christian god who had taken the form of a donkey for the occassion. That was about forty years ago.
Still, Reve could do so without worry. Other than being senile, he's still in good health. No Christian ever so much lifted a finger at him.
I hope Ben Ali will have a similar long life ahead of him.
If he doesn't, the fact that we are living in a country under siege should finally become apparent to all but the most deluded Dutch.
Then again, there is no shortage of people who chose to only see the pretty face of Liza Minnelli when they were watching Cabaret.
Or, no, there's no need to wait.
If you can read Dutch, you can find people stating they won't shed any tears if he's murdered, as well as other examples of fascist apologetics, right here. (Ctrl-F to a guy named TimmyAsd if you're impatient.)

20:57

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Weight loss update

2/1/2005: 100,4 kgs
9/1/2005: 98,0 kgs
16/1/2005: 97,7 kgs

It was closer to 97 kgs on Saturday (97,2 kgs to be exact), so the limited difference is probably mainly due to the fact that I ate at midnight after a 5,5 km run (that would be about 3,5 miles) with Blauw Oog, and drank a lot of (diet) soda as well. We're still in training for the 10 km/6 mile run during Easter in Utrecht. Ah, there's nothing like a run at night when the temperature is around 3 degrees centigrade. Unfortunately though, Blauw Oog only had French Fries and nuts by way of dinner, which really didn't fit in with my diet too well, so I ended up making a few chicken sandwiches when I got home. (Blauw Oog is one of those people who has trouble with being at the top of the food chain, so he will only eat vegetables and French people, which as we all know are not even part of the food chain.)
To summarize, I am moderately satisfied. The goal for the end of January is 97,0, and I'm pretty confident I'll make that.

10:31

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A good day to die

This is my kind of fanatic: 'It's one of my wishes to die at the gate of the polling station. I want to be a martyr for the ballot box.' Dixit some Iraqi guy, via Andrew Sullivan.

Unfortunately, since there will be two elections in Iraq this year, I am mighty afraid this bloke might just get what he's wishing for.

(Yes, two. One to choose a government which will write an Iraqi constititution, another one in December to choose another government and parliament to either endorse or reject said constitution. The same way any other civilized democracy, such as the Netherlands or the USA, would do it.)

0:33

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Terrorism explained

Having just had my first Arabic lesson, I can fully empathize with any radical Islamists out there. I've had to stare at the Arabic alphabet for just an hour and a half, rather than my entire life, and I'm already going nuts. It takes five weeks just to learn the characters, before we can start on slightly less elementary stuff such as grammar. Meanwhile, I can practice such Arabic essentials as the sound ayn, which, according to Wikipedia, is a 'laryngeal voiced fricative'. Right.

21:12

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Weight loss update

2/1/2005: 100,4 kg
9/1/2005: 98,0 kg

So far, so good.

18:11

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Drug all deviants

I am really glad I got to grow up in the seventies and eighties, when psychologists were still blissfully kept out of the business of child raising.
Before anyone (rightfully) accuses me of anti-psychologist bias: I studied the stuff for a while in university, before I deemed it to be too unscientific, and too preoccupied with behavioral fashion than an attempt of objective analysis of human behavior. (Note: wherever I write 'psychologists', I'm referring to psychiatrists as well, just to show you I'm not being fussy.)
Rather than trying to marvel at the infinite variety the human mind can bring to this world, most psychologists fear difference and try to annihilate wherever they see it. The current day psychologist is comparable to the biologist who tries to lessen his workload by trying to eliminate all but one species of butterfly, and by classifying the rest as deviations in a manual. There's no such thing as an appreciation for a diverse ecosystem in psychology.
I'm not kidding. There really is a 'deviations manual' and it's called the DSM-IV. The very name tells of its innate scientific flaw. DSM means Diagnostic and Statistical Manual. You read that well. A diagnosis of a mental disease is based on a statistical analysis. Or, in other words, on a deviation from the mean. It even has a category to classify the unclassifiable (they're the 'NOS' or 'Not Otherwise Specified' in this table).
Before I get to the part in which we rid ourselves of all psychologists, I first have to infuriate some feminists by giving my perspective on gender characteristics. My (admittedly, rather simplified) view of the difference between men and women is the following: the first gender brings chaos and change into the world, the latter provides balance and order.
In other words, men are nature's experimentation box, warding off stagnation and providing new roads to follow; women are nature's gyroscope, making sure changes don't come too quickly and thus jeopardize the species. That this is evolutionary sound behavior can be observed by watching which couples pair up on a Saturday night. Boring guys don't do well. Neither do girls that are as crazy as men. (My own preferences seemingly being an exception to this pattern, although, as my ex-girlfriends can all attest to, not one of them is as mad as I am, thus proving my theory.)
Now, this has all worked very well for about 3 million years - we're still here, aren't we, and at the top of the food chain - until psychologists came along. The psychologist, in an attempt to camouflage his fundamental lack of understanding of the human condition, sticks to his DSM-IV as if it were the Gospel of Ultimate Humanity, and uses it with religious zeal to smite everyone who can be considered a deviation by this book. (You can even give fictional characters this treatment.)
He or she will use whatever means to achieve this goal. Even to the point of giving adult anti-psychotic drugs to young children who don't respond to classic 'hyperactivity' drugs as Ritalin (which in itself isn't a harmless substance). Last year, 35,000 Dutch children received adult psychiatric medications, which were never tested on young people, and which may cause diabetes, impotence and depression, especially in high dosages (or, perhaps, in small dosages in small bodies?). To achieve this, a psychologist carefully massages the female instinct for balance, and uses it to make her fear the loss of her greatest love: that for her child. The psychologist sees no bone in abusing motherly instincts to get her to give these drugs to a child. Then again, having a conscience would probably separate him or her from the mean.
Now, I'm not saying there can't be one or two good psychologists around (although they sure do a good job of hiding themselves). I'm also not saying that some of these 35,000 children won't benefit from adult drugs. I've seen real mental patients and it ain't pretty.
What I am saying is that I sincerely doubt whether Dutch women and men have such bad genes that they produce dysfunctional children in such massive amounts.
The end result of all this will of course be that a generation of really boring Dutch will grow up. Those boring Dutch will then produce boring children, and pretty soon more interesting nations without psychologists will take over our place in the world. This means that in the end, evolution will rectify the problem, but I'd rather not wait that long.
Instead, I'm inclined to agree with a statement of a acquaintance of mine, who works as a psychiatric nurse:

'Let us pray that the last psychologist on Earth is strangled with the intestines of the last vicar.'

Though I can't help but wonder what kind of DSM classification that quote earns him.

9:50

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Fundamentalists, unite!

Or, how Islamic and Sikh violence breed Christian intolerance, the beast that we exorcised through a centuries long war which required our best philosophers and our bravest political leaders.

It's been only weeks since a London theatre stopped performing a play which wasn't to the liking of some fundamentalist Sikhs. Now, Christian groups in the UK claim the same right to censorship over a BBC broadcast (which thankfully went ahead).

The following quote by Christian Voice director Stephen Green sends shivers down my spine:

'What kind of christians are the sort of people who find mocking God and Jesus Christ acceptable? If this show portrayed Mohammed or Vishnu as homosexual, ridiculous and ineffectual, it would never have seen the light of day.'

And so it begins.

These aren't jackboots you're hearing. They're the horns whose ghostly sound accompanies the excommunication of Baruch d'Espinoza from the synagogue, the scraping of the pen which signs Rushdie's fatwa, the crackling of the funeral pires on which the civilization of Enlightenment will eventually perish.

The next time someone starts ranting about how the Christian right is taking over the USA, I'll buy him a one way ticket to London.

Happy Sunday, everyone.

9:16

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A good thing about having a cat

They are useful test subjects for your new camera. Well, sometimes. When they feel like it.

16:48

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That settles it

Liberalism and conservatism explained for dummies. Thank God I consider myself to be neither, because the descriptions aren't very flattering.

19:19

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'Self-improvement is masturbation'

Turns out Fight Club was right all along.

19:55

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Rumsfeld is a really sympathetic and warm guy

I mean, having obituary letters signed by a machine is extremely thoughtful when you compare it to the actions of our secretary of domestic affairs, Johan Remkes. Mr. Remkes has been on a holiday in Thailand since Boxing Day, when the earthquake struck. This puts him in the perfect position to visit Dutch survivors in the country, since he's there already. But alas. Mr. Remkes is staying in a nice, comfy, private cabin on a remote island 250 kilometers from Phuket, and he damn well intends to remain there.

Well, he was going to, anyway. It was just announced he will visit Dutch victim identification crews who are doing a well-needed but gruesome job over there. Still, this is too little, too late, for the members of those teams are used to hardship. Mr. Remkes should have visited the people that aren't: the Dutch tourists, of whom more than 200 are still missing, making this potentially the worst disaster for the Netherlands in several decades. The Bijlmer accident, in which an El Al Boeing ploughed through some flats in Amsterdam, cost 43 lives. Mr. Remkes could have made some effort to console some of the families of the missing. Alas, most of the survivors are back home already.

At least Mr. Rumsfeld had the decency to send a letter.

Update 21.49: Turns out this is the 'international flights' terminal of the island Mr. Remkes is staying. Must be the Thai equivalent of Hoogeveen Airport.

19:54

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Vote for me!

Thanks to you guys I am now one of the top 20 contestants in a Dutch business plan contest, about which I've written before here.

However, it's going to be a long and hard battle. The finish line is still weeks away, on the 31st of January, so I beg you to keep on voting for me.

You can do so once a day.

In order to save you the hassle, here is a very easy way of doing it. Just click here. Please bookmark it and visit it every day until the end of this month.

Thanks!

13:36

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Some obligatory New Year's Resolutions

• I am going to lose weight. A lot, to be precise. Yes, I know the entire world tells itself the same thing. But I will pull it off. And to create enough peer pressure (even though I'm arrogant enough to think I haven't got that many peers), I will be writing a column about it in the Dutch edition of Men's Health. 60,000 readers should be enough pressure to keep it up. Oh, the amount of weight? About 20 kilograms. The first 2 are gone already, partly thanks to the nasty stomach flu of last week. As a benchmark, I'll be posting my weight loss per week. We are currently at 99, the end goal is 78, or my weight two years ago, before I started my own company and grew into a fat pig.
• I am going to run in the Utrecht City Marathon on the 28th of March. Not the full 42 kilometres, but the 10 kilometre version, together with my pal Blauw Oog. My goal is to do it within 55 minutes, which is still very slow compared to the world record, but then again, I'm no athlete. Blauw Oog has a personal goal of 65 minutes, but he has a habit of aiming too low. I can do 10 kilometres in 60 minutes quite easily, so I've got 3 months to shave off those 5 minutes.
• I am going to party quite a bit more. There were too many 80 hour working weeks in 2004, so a little R'n'R would probably be called for every now and then. I guess this resolution may be one of the hardest to keep, me being a workaholic and all that...

Let me conclude by wishing you all a very obligatory but heartfelt happy 2005!

8:55

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