Fifteen nights until our 'NO' to Europe: too bad most of you don't understand Dutch

You'd be able to read this rant, which is in essense a parody of the scaremongering tactics employed by the Dutch government to bully us into supporting the EU constitution:

'What a 'NO' vote will mean? In fifty years they will write (a poem, AD) about the Netherlands: 'Thinking of Holland I see barbed wire fencing, guard towers, dust and ashes. Bodies are swinging upside down, slowly rocking in the winds of a nuclear winter.'

It will be because of you, ungrateful citizens! Hypocrite dogs! We as a government have been trying so hard to build a better world. We have given you a new currency which didn't increase prices at all! We have gotten you into a wonderful union with members including a barely fascist Italian (head of state, AD) !'

If anybody wants to have a go at translating it (i.e. someone who doesn't have to work for 70 hours a week), I'd be grateful.

Update 21.11: reader Bob was kind enough to do the honours. Read the full translation by clicking 'Lees verder'.

CAN'T BLAME A GOVERNMENT FOR TRYING

It will be war soon. Or worse, a terrible holocaust. Just a few years, ten at the most, and we'll be there: concentration camps, torture, terror. Grief. And this time, no Yanks to 'democratize' us.

And this in Holland. Who would have thought that possible? Who could have dreamed that this beautiful, tolerant little country would once again become a large deportation camp? Harsh, but true. And it's our own fault: 'I didn't know' (Ich habe es nicht gewusst, AD) is not an excuse this time around. We were warned well ahead of time by Donner and Balkenende.

Strangely enough the 'Yes, the European constitution is hot as hell' movement isn't growing. Apparently, we welcome war, another holocaust, destruction and an end to our prosperity. Apparently we, the brave citizens of the Kingdom of the Netherlands, don't give a damn about our pretty country with wide rivers that flow slowly and endlessly. We probably have had our fill of the cheese markets, Delft's Blue art, and other things that typify our little country.

Because our resounding 'NO' vote to the European Union will mean the end of Holland as we know it. Tolerance exit stage left. Exit peace, milk and honey. Exit Brussels sprouts, hutspot (Dutch stew, AD), tulip bulbs. Exit Geert Mak and the century of his old man. To sum it up: Exit Europe.

What a 'NO' vote will mean? In fifty years they will write (a poem, AD) about the Netherlands: 'Thinking of Holland I see barbed wire fencing, guard towers, dust and ashes. Bodies are swinging upside down, slowly rocking in the winds of a nuclear winter.'

It will be because of you, ungrateful citizens! Hypocrite dogs! We as a government have been trying so hard to build a better world. We have given you a new currency which didn't increase prices at all! We have gotten you into a wonderful union with members including a barely fascist Italian (head of state, AD)!'. Plus, we've provided you with a new international higher education system which doesn't get you diddly-squat, an international job market, and we've even got Camiel Eurlings filling an important role in Dutch-US relations. And what do you give your hard working, inclusive and trusted government? A 'NO'. A fat middle finger right in the face, thank you very much!

But you will regret this. On the day that you kill your neighbors, when you too are torching books and churches, you will look back at the day you voted 'NO' and sealed your fate. On that day you will think of the wonderful propaganda of Donner and Balkenende, the many convincing arguments from the CDA (Christian Democrats, AD). You will remember the face of Donner, looking at you like a headmaster, softly muttering the word 'Holocaust'.

Bitter tears will run down your cheek. The feeling of remorse will smack your soul as you, seething and clenching your jaw, curse your 'NO' vote until 500 generations have passed.

Enjoy your last days. Within a short time the gates of hell will open and Satan's legions will trample your neighbors lawn. Take a last look at all that beauty around you. Listen, while it's still possible, to Jantje Smits, BZN, Kane and other magnificent composers who will guide this peaceful Europe to its grave. And don't forget: you hold Europe's future in your own hands. Because June 1st, 2005 is the Day of Reckoning. Because that date was written in stone millennia ago.

Will that do, Piet Hein?


(The original Dutch text can be found at GeenStijl. The article was written by 'Lucasdelinkselul' which roughly translates to 'Luketheleftwingdick'.)

18:09

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