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Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Dutch PBS hires America-friendly anchor after all |
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Charles Groenhuijsen, about whom I've written before, has decided to yield to Dutch PBS and leave the United States. He will anchor Dutch PBS news from the Netherlands, rather than from Washington, DC. He will start on January 1, 2006.
Well, I guess it's an improvement over current anchor Philip Freriks, who doesn't even speak Dutch. I don't know what he does speak, but it's not the language I was brought up in. He seems to be rather anti-American, which is not all that surprising, as he worked as the Dutch PBS correspondent in France for a long time. Before that, Freriks apparently worked on the train service between Paris and Amsterdam (other sources claim he worked for Wagon Lits. I'd welcome any additional information).
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12:56 |
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That's one way of dealing with trolls |
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Maybe I should follow the example of captain Danjel Bout. It seems to be an unfortunate law of the Internet that it brings out those which Dutch writer Karin Spaink calls people with 'modem balls'. That is, people who are real heroes when they can give you a piece of their mind from a safe distance. Up close? Probably not so. Read Bout's post: it's sickening.
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9:46 |
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Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Subsidize a writer, tell me what to read! |
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My book list for my MA degree came in today, and guess what: three books on the list contain the word 'dialectical'. Wake up and smell the reductionist garlic.
Upon further examination, it turned out to be slightly less bad than I had feared, as all books deal with a form of argumentation theory, invented by Frans van Eemeren, called the 'pragma-dialectical approach'.
Because I want to keep my reputation as a genuine smartass, I'd like to read some counterpoints as well. I've already bothered one rather unsuspecting philosophy professor tonight, but I figured: why stop there when I can bother about 2,000 people more.
(Especially since one of the first pdf thingies that came up when I googled 'pragma-dialectical approach' was an article by a British Ph.D. student who used Van Eemeren's theories to point out that everyone who doesn't agree with his view that Western society consists of imperialist maniacs is a racist using foul rhetorical tricks to disguise hate speech; said Ph. D student of course being completely free of any rhetorical missteps himself.)
I'm sure there are a few smart people out there reading this, so do your worst and provide me with a book list from hell.
(To offer some further encouragement: we'll get to critique Michael Moore this semester...)
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0:51 |
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Monday, August 29, 2005
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Notes from the dead |
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Left-liberal newspaper de Volkskrant reports:
"Two weeks before he died, movie director Theo van Gogh had agreed to produce a twelve part television drama series for the Dutch Muslim Channel (Nederlandse Moslim Omroep or NMO). In order to convince the audience of the NMO of his sincerity, Van Gogh had intended to write a letter in which he would have explained how he opposed fundamentalism, but respected 'Muslims as fellow human beings'."
So of course, he had to die.
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12:07 |
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Autumn |
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Living near Schiphol Airport, you can tell when summer is leaving. It departs with some measure of style, as the normally small vapor trails of jet engines widen considerably, then vanish.
I love autumn. Nature disappears, but slowly, like the sounds in a composition of Toru Takemitsu. The essence of music, as John Williams once said, is in its dying away. In finality there is beauty.
I told my cat about this, and he purred.
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9:38 |
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Free porn for war pics (2) |
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Sherrie Gossett has an update on this earlier post regarding a Dutch porn website which grants GI's access in exchange for war pics. Sherrie also writes:
'I'm reminded of a Wired article on the Abu Ghraib photos that quotes a soldier saying: "I cannot help but wonder upon reflection of the circumstances, how much longer we will be able to carry with us our digital cameras, or take photographs and document the experiences we have had."'
This in turn reminded me of this interesting article in the Guardian (no, that is not an oxymoron), which makes the case that Big Brother has arrived, but in a truly unexpected form:
'Thus it is interesting to note the police appeal for photos, video and cameraphone media in the wake of the terrorist outrage. It could be these, rather than CCTV, that contain the key clue to the identity of the bombers: confirmation that Big Brother is "us", not "them".'
Granted, the article is very negative, as seems to be obligatory with any article on privacy issues, but the point is valid. Oakley already produces sunglasses which contain a Bluetooth headset for a cellphone. Pretty soon the phone itself will be integrated, and shortly after that, a camera. This genie isn't just out of the bottle, the little guy is growing very quickly.
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9:09 |
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Friday, August 26, 2005
Book launch / presentatie boek |
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On September 30, my new book on cybercrime will be presented at Mediaplaza in Utrecht. If you are a journalist or another professional who has a business interest in attending, please feel free to drop me a line at book (at) zachtei.nl. You can also use this address to request a review copy. (Note: we reserve the right not to honour requests without notice.)
Op 30 september wordt mijn nieuwe boek, het 'Handboek Digitale Criminaliteit', gepresenteerd bij Mediaplaza in Utrecht. Ben je journalist, of heb je om andere redenen vakmatige interesse om de presentatie bij te wonen, stuur me dan een mailtje op boek (at) zachtei.nl. Daarop kun je ook recensie-exemplaren aanvragen. (We behouden ons het recht voor om aanvragen zonder opgaaf van redenen te weigeren.)
Update October 19: This launch was postponed and took place on October 7 in Mediaplaza, Utrecht.
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18:20 |
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Third printing |
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My 'Handboek Internetresearch', a manual for doing research through the Internet (reviled by nerds and loved by everybody else - well, nearly), will enter its third printing this autumn. And I'm happy to say I will have the opportunity to revise the current text.
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15:31 |
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Thursday, August 25, 2005
Will you please rise for the singing of our national anthem |
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There has been a time that the Dutch were ashamed of showing nationalism. This is perhaps understandable on a continent which has seen how much havoc an excess of nationalism can wreak. The realization that there's perhaps more to nationalism than just the desire to gas everybody who isn't of the correct lineage in concentration camps, took a while to seep through.
Nowadays though, more of the Dutch are becoming aware that it might be a good thing if people were somewhat proud of the country they live in. For example, they might start to make more of an effort to keep the place liveable. Two phenomena which functioned as a catalyst for this process are soccer, and to a lesser extent the murder of Theo van Gogh. A few years ago, the press began speaking with indignation of soccer players who couldn't even get through the first verse of the Wilhelmus, our national anthem.
Since the murder of Theo van Gogh, secretary Rita Verdonk of Immigration has seen fit to introduce a bit of nationalism into our naturalization procedures.
In the past, becoming Dutch was as easy (well...) as sitting through endless interviews with immigration officials. I think they sent you your naturalization papers through the mail. No 'new citizen ceremony', no pledge of allegiance, nothing. Make becoming Dutch seem like getting a fishing license and people will treat it as such: as just another piece of paper which holds the same value as an insurance policy. You don't want to lose it, but do you love it? Nope.
So personally I think it was a great idea of Ms. Verdonk to have a bit of a party to welcome a few new citizens to our fair, if rather moist, country. Everybody got a Dutch flag, a copy of our constitution, and they even sang the Wilhelmus, the first and the sixth verse. That is, except for a journalist from Business News Radio. He claimed he, as well as several civil servants, had never even heard of the sixth stanza of our national anthem.
Right. When I was brought up - which isn't ages ago as I'm 30 - the first and sixth verse of the Wilhelmus were compulsory singing at Queen's Day, our national holiday (comparable somewhat to the Fourth of July, although a bit less formal). So for the benefit of Business News Radio, and all other traitors (just kidding), here's the text of the first and sixth verse, plus translations, plus several MP3's, a bit more down. Boy, am I spoiling you guys rotten...
And Rita, loosen up next time, will you? I know you were in charge of a prison, but there's no need to sound like a warden all the time. Not at a party, at least.
Wilhelmus van Nassouwe
ben ik, van Duitsen bloed,
den vaderland getrouwe
blijf ik tot in den dood.
Een Prinse van Oranje
ben ik, vrij onverveerd,
den Koning van Hispanje
heb ik altijd geëerd.
Mijn schild ende betrouwen
zijt Gij, o God mijn Heer,
op U zo wil ik bouwen,
Verlaat mij nimmermeer.
Dat ik doch vroom mag blijven,
uw dienaar t'aller stond,
de tirannie verdrijven
die mij mijn hart doorwondt.
Some crude translations, from Wikipedia:
William of Nassau, scion
Of a Dutch and ancient line,
Dedicate undying
Faith to this land of mine.
A prince I am, undaunted,
Of Orange, ever free,
To the king of Spain I've granted
A lifelong loyalty.
My shield and loyalty
art Thou, o God my Lord
on You I shall build
never abandon me
so that I shall remain strong
Your servant at all times
the tyranny repel
which stabs (me through) my heart
I've got six versions available for download, all in one neat package which can be found here. Rapidshare (the hoster) can be a bit tricky to navigate. Scroll down and select the 'free' option. Scroll down again. You'll notice there's a counter. Yes, you'll have to wait a bit before the text 'wilhelmus.exe' appears. When it does, click on it and download away. If all else fails, try reading the instructions.
You'll hear:
1. The instrumental version, played by a Dutch army band.
2. The version with lyrics (which gets un-Dutchically patriotic - i.e., they start using copper instruments, which most Dutch feel is best left to Americans - from about 1"37'. It also contains the sixth verse, starting at 0"49').
3. The organ version, which is very, very, veeeeery long.
4. The er... farmer version, with lyrics that are for the most part not at all like the original.
5. The eurodance version, usually played at soccer fests. There's a bit of another melody somewhere in the middle.
6. The acid house version, usually not played at all, and with very good reason.
(People who'd rather have some music from Sensation White can go to alt.binaries.sounds.mp3.dance.)
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16:53 |
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Wednesday, August 24, 2005
The infinite improbability of love |
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One of the things I liked most about Douglas Adams and his Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is how he used absurdity to confront its readers with very real phenomena.
Thus he conjured up a 'biro planet', a place where all those ballpoints you've lost over the years have gone.
He invented an entire race of foul-smelling aliens to mock bureaucrats.
And he made his main character, Arthur Dent, lose the girl he's smitten with to the president of the galaxy, a guy with two heads and a spaceship.
That's one case when an Aston Martin keychain isn't going to do you much good.
I took the afternoon off today to see the film, and boy, was I in favor of the death penalty for movie producers afterwards.
Arthur Dent gets the girl.
In the book he never did get anywhere with Trillian, and with good reason. If Adams' infinite improbability drive ever did anything, it was to make the probable seem even more probable by making it look so improbable it became impossible to ignore.
I'm sure everyone over 14 knows this already, but unlike what Hollywood would have you believe, true love is something that is very improbable.
That's why, when Arthur finally met Fenchurch, Adams wrote their story with so much absurdity that even a cynic such as myself could accept it.
Adams did not, however, make Arthur smack Trillian after she had PMS'd for half the film whether to choose the exciting-but-unreliable guy or the boring-but-at-least-very-understanding guy.
The people who made this atrocity understand neither life, the universe nor the rest.
Now go say that 42 times fast.
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21:21 |
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Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Military versus the police |
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Nicholas responds to my military versus the police post.
I am really sad to say that in the end we agreed on nearly everything, except for the fact that we both seemed to think the other guy makes judgments too quickly, so annoyingly, we even agreed on that.
Now I know why moonbats debate the way they do: they're afraid of reaching a consensus.
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17:54 |
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On France-bashing |
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It seems France is not that well liked in Middle and Eastern Europe. The Volokh Conspiracy elaborates:
Other Czechs, he elaborates, use "Munich" as a shorthand for what they see to be France's failure to support the robustly pro-freedom American policies in Europe. For the latter group, the list of grievances includes some events which were well-known at one time, which have been forgotten by almost all Americans, but which are vividly remembered by many Czechs--such as France's withdrawl from the NATO military command during the DeGaulle presidency.
I found out about the latter a few years ago and I'm still pissed, even though the Netherlands has a good relationship with both the EU (well, not at the moment) and the USA. I can only admire a nation which is proud of itself. (The Dutch could do with a bit more pride, every now and then.) But for the Czechs, who were behind the Iron Curtain, matters were not as easy. I, for one, got miffed for another reason, namely when I dug deeper into this matter and found this little article:
On 7 March 1966, General de Gaulle announced to President Johnson that France was withdrawing from the integrated military organisation. On 1 July 1966, French representatives stepped down from positions in the military organisation. NATO moved out of its headquarters in Versailles and Fontainebleau on 1 April 1967.
General de Gaulle nonetheless maintained French participation in the Atlantic Council. France remained a member of NATO and all its structures except the integrated military command. Instructions were given to prepare for co-operation between French and NATO forces in the event of war, subject to France's decision to participate. The Lemnitzer-Ailleret agreements made comprehensive provisions for possible French intervention alongside Allied forces. Lastly, France maintained its land forces already stationed in the Federal Republic of Germany.
Somehow the bold part doesn't make me sleep better at night. Nor did it go down well with some Dutch, at the time:
Reactions abroad were strong, especially in the USA where anti-French demonstrations were held, but also in Great Britain and the Netherlands.
What I'd like to know, but couldn't find anywhere: are the arrangements that De Gaulle made still in place? I couldn't find any proof to the contrary, but since absence of proof is not proof of absence... France has always been a country which does only what it damn well pleases (< flamebait> maybe that's why the French hate Americans, they are too similar < /flamebait>). For example, they've only stopped nuclear testing in 1996, whereas the UK and the USA stopped in 1991 and 1992 respectively. I wouldn't be surprised to find out nothing has changes since the sixties.
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11:32 |
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Don't be an antisocial pajamas guy |
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And visit this little kid's blog, if only to give his pageviews a hike. Yannick is 8 years old and suffering from B-cell lymphoma. Unlike some varieties of (non-)Hodgkin's disease, this one isn't easy to cure.
The writing style of his blog seems to suggest it was written by his mother (this is of course purely speculative), which in turn suggests that it is his parents that could use our support as well (though one hardly needs even the limited brain capacity of a journalist to figure that one out).
Which means they can probably read English.
Which means there's no excuse to not get yo' lazy ass over there and leave a few kind words.
(Here, for example. Scroll all the way down to the bottom to find the reply form.)
Inbreds who post anything obscene will be traced and receive gene therapy to make them mutate into a mule, as soon as it comes available. Their chromosomes would be happier for it, I suppose.
(Via Michiel Veenstra.)
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10:58 |
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Monday, August 22, 2005
Rent a Muslim! |
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Are there questions you'd like to ask of your fellow Muslim citizens, but never before have you been able to muster enough courage?
Then go and travel to the fair (cough) city of Almelo (where, incidentally, I was born on Friday the 13th, 1975 - yes, I've heard all the jokes). In the local library you can rent a Muslim for an hour.
Oh, if you're already tolerant of Muslims, you can talk to a gay person or someone who lives in a trailer camp instead. You can then ask him or her all the questions you never dared to before.
This is condescending on so many levels I don't know where to start, but I’ll have a go at it anyway.
If I were a member of an ethnic group or minority, and members of 'my' group are being discriminated against, I would feel no need whatsoever to talk to people who want to speak with me, as they are probably without prejudice already.
If I were a member of an ethnic group or minority, and other members of that group are making a mess of things (we've had people from a trailer camp blocking an entire highway for half a day), I would never feel the need to defend myself for stuff I didn't do.
In other words, this idea is degrading.
At the same time, it's condescending towards the customers of said library. It is a fact that there are problems with integrating Muslim immigrants into Dutch society. It is also a fact that there have been quite a few police raids of trailer camps in the past few years.
How big these problems are and how they should be tackled are matters on which reasonable people can disagree. But pretending they are purely a matter of perspective, issues which can be resolved by simply letting the ignorant people have a chat with the embattled ones, is rather patronizing.
The only people that would benefit from this scheme are those who have racist or otherwise prejudiced views of either gays, Muslims or people who live in trailer camps. Now, how many of them do you think are going to show up?
My thoughts exactly.
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12:19 |
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Sunday, August 21, 2005
Cloning, good for you |
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As I'll be joining the ranks of those we affectionately refer to as 'wage slaves' in the Netherlands, I spent an hour this morning brushing up my resume. Yes, just another week or so and I'll officially be a lecturer (or assistant professor, or whatever they call it in English) at Leiden University. As well as a student, as I'll be studying to get my master's degree at the same time I'll be teaching undergraduates. It's going to be, er, interesting. Especially on September 8, when I have classes as a master's student, but need to give a presentation with Rob Punselie for a group of bachelor students at the very same time. Does JK Rowling have one of these on loan?
(Oh, don't worry, I'll keep on freelancing. I will only teach one class a week, and who needs sleep, anyway?)
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10:05 |
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Saturday, August 20, 2005
Posse comitatus |
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I am not going to say ‘I told you so’, but that’s solely because I didn’t say it on this blog before, but on a Dutch mailing list called Deining. That’s where I first voiced my suspicion that the death of Brazilian Mr. Jean Charles de Menezes had been caused by an SAS (special forces) soldier. Now the Times of London speculates on this as well, and it claims to have found clues in press photographs.
Whether the SAS story pans out or not, the following quote from what is arguable the best scifi series ever, Battlestar Galactica, can never be repeated enough:
"There's a reason why you separate the military and the police. One fights the enemy of the state. The other serves and protects the people. When the military becomes both, the enemies of the state tend to become the people."
BTW, if there's anyone who's managed to sit through the final scene of this week’s episode, ‘Home’, and listen to Adama's lines without needing a really big glass of ‘perspective and soda’ afterwards, you must be emotionally dead inside. That was some damn fine acting, Mr. Olmos.
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21:46 |
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Blow, blow, blow your boat |
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Martijn and I went to SAIL yesterday, during which Martijn gave me the idea to buy a boat of my own.
As (a) we didn't get blown up by Al Qaeda, and (b) the whole 'cruising around the world' thing has sort of appealed to me ever since I met an American in Wellington, New Zealand, who had been doing exactly that for the past twenty years, I spent the morning looking at ships rather than finishing an article on why the battery life on your cellphone always seems to suck.
Thanks, Martijn. Next time, I'll tell people how you kept on stroking the silky ribbon of my press accreditation pass as if you were in desperate need of a girlfriend. (Yes, yes, I know, I need one too, but the hookers in Amsterdam won't give me credit anymore, and I hate washing dishes.)
I'll be back at SAIL tomorrow, when hopefully the weather won't suck as much, to make avail of all the press freebies, such as touring the harbour in special press ships which are loaded with booze and food.
Meanwhile, I'd welcome sensible advice regarding decent ocean worthy boats, and how to learn to sail them properly. Sailing on a sweet water lake, fine. Sailing in the midst of a storm on the Atlantic, I'd probably be in over my head right now.
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11:22 |
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Friday, August 19, 2005
My one and final word on the Sheehan matter |
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Concerns this page from Dutch PBS teletext:
The last sentence says: 'Bush has stated he respects her, but didn't want to speak to her'.
Obviously, this should say: 'Bush has stated he respects her, but didn't want to speak to her again'
Seems to me there would have been plenty of space left for that one word (which would be 'nogmaals' in Dutch, in case you're interested, or 'tweede' (second), in this case).
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1:10 |
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Thursday, August 18, 2005
On the reading shelf |
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Charles Groenhuizen's 'Americans aren't crazy'. I'll post some snippets later on. For now, just one paragraph that struck me especially, loving both the Netherlands and the USA:
'Collectively speaking the Dutch are friendly and show solidarity, but unlike in the States, people often don't show a lot of individual kindness. (...) America is a tough society with good manners. The Netherlands are a caring society with bad manners. What can we learn from one another?'
Indeed.
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20:14 |
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Stop animal abuse, end farm subsidies |
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(Note: this article could do with a few more statistics. For example, I'd be interested in learning about meat prices in various countries around the world, but have been unable to find such figures. Feel free to either email statistics to me, or leave them in the comments section.)
EU Rota makes a good point in criticizing European textile protectionism. But this kind of behavior is by no means limited to the EU. The United States, for example, had a little run-in with the WTO on certain steel tariffs.
Far more important than bickering about which side of the Atlantic is worse in (not) practicing free markets are the consequences of protectionist measures. It deprives poorer countries chances of growth. And back home, especially in the Netherlands, it leads to absurd situations.
In the Netherlands, space is at a premium and thus makes farming expensive. The bio industry offers a solution for that particular conundrum. Bluntly stated, this practice consists of raising as many animals as quickly as possible in as narrow a space as farmers can get away with. Now, let me state once and for all that I don't blame Dutch farmers. I blame the collective governments of the USA and the EU member states. They are to blame for what a left-wing friend of mine recently called 'legalized animal abuse'.
I wouldn't go as far as he does. Hitting animals with sticks or raping them is still a lot worse than raising pigs in small cages. But he does have a point. The 'bio industry' has led to some truly appaling stuff, such as castrating piglets without anesthesia, cows eating food which makes them grow meat faster, but also gives them perpetual diarrhea, and last but not least, keeping animals in trucks while they are hauled across the continent for about 1,000 miles or more, so they can be butchered more cheaply in some country with low wages and a high average temperature. (Granted, those trucks will have to be airconditioned in the future. What will the governments do - increase tariffs further to make up for the price difference?)
Now, I am not against killing animals. I eat meat, we had our dog put down when he was beyond rescue, and I would do the same with any pet that had become terminally ill. (By the way, unlike contemporary myth suggests, no, the Dutch don't put down their human family members whenever they like it.)
I am, however, also for treating animals with some matter of decency. Current EU policies prevent that from happening, specifically in the Netherlands, because space is so limited here. (In Ireland, where I studied for a while, almost all meat is 'free range'.)
The worst of all this that the Dutch actually pay to make this happen. As a matter of fact, we pay double. Protectionism by definition always makes items more expensive - otherwise we wouldn't need tariffs. But the Dutch also get charged through the EU, which subsidizes agricultural policy in several countries (the Netherlands, despite being a net payer to the EU, gets some in return).
I wouldn't mind paying extra, if only I could eat my steak without having to think of some poor animal that has had gastrointestinal problems from birth, never got to see the sky, or for that matter, eat real grass.
Instead, I'm paying extra to eat a piece of meat from a cow that was miserable from the day it was born, until the day it was put down.
A solution might be to do away with all tariffs. That way, it would become more appealing to import free range meat from other countries. In fact, there might even be a (small) market for free range meat from the Netherlands.
For this to happen, however, the bio industry has to go.
Fortunately, even the Dutch government realizes this.
Unfortunately, they're even worse pussies than I am.
Politicians lack the courage to do away with farms in the Netherlands once and for all, for example by buying them up, compensating farmers appropriately and aid them to restart their business in a country where it is possible to produce at market prices.
Instead they've chosen a policy of slow asphyxiation: making up more rules every year. Naturally, farmers are furious. They feel like they are being bullied, which in fact they are. The government hopes most of them will sell their farms, which many in the end do. In order to survive, the remaining farms have to become even more efficient (i.e. more animal unfriendly) to still produce cost-effectively, despite all the rules restraining them, and while on the other hand being assisted by import tariffs. (Ironically, the European Union doesn't prohibit hauling cattle all over the planet under none too comfortable circumstances.)
If this sounds Kafkaesque, it is.
I know this is never going to happen, despite (or because) it being the right thing to do. But immediate abolition of all tariffs, followed by a generous government program buying up all farms (for a limited time frame) will in the end be cheaper for the consumer/tax payer, and it will end the bio industry.
Alternatively, I'll buy my own farm and start producing my own meat.
(I might just not be kidding. Anybody want to buy cow shares?)
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18:18 |
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Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Hens and foxes |
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Pieter, being the polite guy he is, passes up a perfect opportunity to make nasty remarks about the psychiatric profession in his otherwise excellent piece on the Dutch treatment of the criminally insane. I on the other hand, being a genuine asshole, have no such reservations. Pieter writes:
Society at large considers those convicted with a TBS-sentence (psychiatric treatment after being convicted of a usually very violent crime, ZE) as criminals, whereas the professionals that run these outfits view their clients primarily as patients, sure to be cured at some point in time.
Funny, no quotation marks around 'clients'. Convicted felons are clients nowadays? Anyway, I digress.
< metaphor mode>
There's an expression about a fox guarding a hen house. Now I'm not a native speaker, but it's my understanding that this is generally considered to be a bad idea. Thus, it seems to me that having hens guarding a kennel full of foxes would be even worse. I mean, if hens are so good at assessing the mental health of foxes, why are the latter still higher up in the food chain? In other words, don't trust a psychiatrist treating convicted killers unless he's killed someone himself - er, no, I wouldn't go that far.
< /metaphor mode>
Most psychiatrists and psychologists are total pussies. I know. I used to try to become one, but Exaqetal, Dutch God of Illegal Drugs, spoke to me and I was saved from almost certain eternal damnation.
What I guess I'm trying to say is this. You don't become a psychologist unless you're trying to save the world (i.e. the people therein), which in time often leads to the belief that every single person in it is not beyond redemption. Sadly, this usually isn't the case, but psychologists, being the delusional optimists they are, tend to be unable to be convinced otherwise - or quit psychology when they are persuaded.
(So my dating advice for today is: date psychology coeds. They'll understand you, even if you're a total and utter wanker. Well, they'll fake it. But since when hasn't that been good enough for most blokes?)
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23:09 |
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Sad |
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I like birds. No, not just chicken parmigiana or the kind that flocks to pubs on Saturday nights, but the feathery ones. So I was kinda disheartened this morning when I read about the death of the one black vulture we have, or rather: had, in the Netherlands. It got hit by a train. Yet another reason to hate public transport.
(BTW, it sort of reminded me of this incident.)
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9:39 |
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On surveys |
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I empathize with Jeff Jarvis, who probably gets bombarded with interview and survey participation requests a lot more than I do. Nevertheless, I get my fair share and lately I've been declining a few. As Jeff does, I already say 'no' to organizations which do research on behalf of a company. They can hire me for an hourly fee, if they like. Unless, of course, I have personal ties with said organization.
Yesterday, for the first time ever, I threw away an email by a student who was doing her MA paper. I make it a matter of personal pride to always help out students, but this was different. She wanted me to answer survey questions, but couldn't even be bothered to draft more than a very brief standard message. Not only did it address readers as 'Dear journalist' (there's only 10,000 of us in the Netherlands), she didn't even bother to explain what the survey was about exactly, how respondents were selected (i.e. how she got my email address), or whether interviewees would be sent a copy of her paper. There was, however, a very long url to a badly designed website on which I was supposed to fill out lots of questions.
I don't mean to discourage any student from contacting me, but it seems to me that someone who's trying to get a degree in communications might have realized that this is not a very good way to communicate.
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9:15 |
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Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Boozing it up in the Netherlands |
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Speaking of something else they probably don't have in Canada, in the weekend of 8 and 9 October the Netherlands will host a Pot Still Festival.
This basically equates to everybody paying about 25 euros, and then loading up on rather expensive whisk(e)ys, cognacs, brandies, eaux de vie and other assorted spirits.
Anybody interested in joining me (someone already did sign up): leave your contact details in the comments, or if you're one of those persons who still believes in privacy, drop me a line at iamingoodspirits (at) zachtei.nl.
Those of you who speak Dutch can click here to see what this is all about, and non-perfect people can go there too. They'll just have to click on the Union Jack for a very brief explanation in Engrish.
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17:28 |
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Admit it, mate, you're homesick |
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< waving Dutch tricolor>
Pieter Dorsman discovers there's something to be said for the 'hedonistic' hellhole that is the Netherlands... I figured as much when he emailed me a while back on Sensation White, saying something to the effect that Canada doesn't throw parties like that. Oh, and our MDMA is purer too.
< / waving Dutch tricolor>
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17:04 |
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Bang bang |
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If I go into the streets, whacking people against the asphalt, I take the risk of accidentally killing someone. Like in many other countries in the world, the ground in the Netherlands is not made of rubber. Which I guess is a good thing, as it would get all sticky, what with the climate heating up due to solar variation man-made global warming and all that.
My cat understands this. He's a smart cat, and besides, otherwise, I won't feed him more kitty snacks.
However, a Dutch judge doesn't, and has ruled that a guy be jailed for four years, for hitting people at random and killing one in the process. A life verdict being the only exception, all sentences in the Netherlands are regularly commuted to two-thirds of their original length. That is, if you can refrain from raping a guard for the time of your stay (i.e. show 'good behavior').
Here's the hilarious part: 'The judge said he hoped the verdict would serve as a warning to would-be offenders.'
What kind of warning would that be? If you want to kill someone, pretend you're a raving lunatic and make it look like a wanton act of violence? Or 'Killing someone isn't so bad, as long as you pick your targets at random'?
Thanks judge, I'll remember that.
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15:25 |
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Monday, August 15, 2005
Bands of freedom (Dutch readers only) |
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Ik moet niets hebben van de oranje 'respect'-armbandjes, die gode zij dank het straatbeeld hier niet zo verpesten als ik van tevoren had gevreesd.
Maar waar ik al langere tijd naar zocht, was een manier om steun te betuigen aan de (ook Nederlandse) troepen die in Irak en Afghanistan goed werk hebben gedaan, en in veel gevallen nog steeds doen. En dan graag niet al te schreeuwerig, à la 'America Fuck Yeah'. Ik heb een hekel aan Michael Moore, maar net zo goed aan soortgelijke retoriek van de rechtervleugel. Bovendien is Amerika van de westerse landen weliswaar degene die de zwaarste klappen opvangt, maar niet het enige.
Iets neutralers dus, met 'vrijheid', zocht ik.
Nou, zulke armbandjes zijn er ook. Probleempje is alleen dat ze uit de Verenigde Staten moeten komen, en per verpakking van 10 stuks worden verstuurd. Dat ga ik dan maar doen, maar in tegenstelling tot sommige Hindoe-goden heb ik 'slechts' twee armen. Ik heb er dus geen tien nodig.
Wie doet er mee?
Lezers die er eentje willen, kunnen zich melden op jageilzonarmbandje (at) zachtei.nl.
Kosten zijn 1 euro per stuk (= 1 dollar plus aandeel in verzendkosten), afhalen in Amsterdam, of per post voor 1,50 euro.
Ik wacht tot vrijdag met bestellen, dus je opgeven kan tot en met donderdag.
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23:09 |
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On sociologists and their inaptitude at maths |
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Meet Peter Swanborn. Peter is considered to be quite the expert at methodologies of sociological research. Peter is also the author of the manual for research methodologies ('Basisboek sociaal onderzoek') on which I will have an oral exam on Thursday.
Boy, is the professor in for a treat.
I've been annoyed by Swanborn's book ever since he failed to differentiate between a theory, a theorem and a hypothesis in chapter 1 (he sets things right later on, but that's too late to my taste), and doesn't distinguish between a 'causality problem' and an 'explanation problem' (proving cause and effect can be done without offering any explanation whatsoever - in the end it turns out 'explanation' is just his phrase for 'causality').
It took me until the final chapter, however, to conclude that this book needs a dramatic overhaul.
It's not just that Swanborn can't be bothered to look up the name of famous statistician Maurice Kendall, who is adressed as Kandall all the way through, or that 'Kandall' is credited with having invented the statistic variable Q, which was the work of George Udny Yule. Kendall invented a method to calculate rank correlation coefficients, which is known as the variable Tau.
I can forgive that. After all, 'q' and 'tau' are only a few letters apart in the alphabet. Granted, they're two altogether different alphabets, one being the Latin version, the other one being the Greek, but hey, Rome wasn't burnt down on one day.
However, it's when he starts doing math when I find myself unable from trying to claw my own eyes out.
Here's one example, from page 275:
'(213/212) / (221/334) = (213/212) * (334/221), or 213 * (334/212) * 221 = 1,52'
What he means, of course, is:
'(213/212) / (221/334) = (213/212) * (334/221), or (213*334) / (212*221) = 1,52'
Mind you, this is the 'fourth, completely revised edition'. Obviously, the revision process at 'Boom' Publishing House ('Boom' means tree, which is a pity, because after reading this book, I feel they might benefit from a huge explosion) is managed by people who graduated summa cum laude in French reductionist mathematics, which teaches that calculations which yield correct results are examples of neodialectic western cultural imperialism, or something to that effect. Either that, or they're retards.
Anyone who can't spot the error in said calculation is kindly requested not to come near me, at least not tonight, unless you're Scarlett Johansson, or a clone thereof.
(Note: for clarity reasons I've added parentheses in the transcription of the calculation above. Swanborn doesn't bother with them, he just hits the space key a few more times. Also, I've substituted 'x' with '*'. Sure, any first year student should know you don't use 'x' for multiplying since it's also the most common variable in existence, but we're dealing with a sociologist here.)
Nitpickers can click 'Lees verder' for some additional information.
More...
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21:31 |
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e-Qaeda |
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Read more about it here (the film that's hyperlinked there is in English, the blog entry itself is in Dutch. Sorry to make it this complicated, but the site I'm linking to, Blognoot, is a paid blog, i.e. it provides part of my rent. Only fair to give them the pageviews too.)
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14:31 |
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Why the shuttle sucks |
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Slightly more eloquently put by that guy with that impronouncable name (yeah, I'm talking) at Idle Words:
Taken on its own merits, the Shuttle gives the impression of a vehicle designed to be launched repeatedly to near-Earth orbit, tended by five to seven passengers with little concern for their personal safety, and requiring extravagant care and preparation before each flight, with an almost fetishistic emphasis on reuse. Clearly this primitive space plane must have been a sacred artifact, used in religious rituals to deliver sacrifice to a sky god.
As tempting as it is to picture a blood-spattered Canadarm flinging goat carcasses into the void, we know that the Shuttle is the fruit of what was supposed to be a rational decision making process. That so much about the vehicle design is bizarre and confused is the direct result of the Shuttle's little-remembered role as a military vehicle during the Cold War.
End the shuttle now, and use the funds to finally get us on Mars. I've got a bet running, you know.
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13:00 |
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Sunday, August 14, 2005
Puff the magic BBC dragon |
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And I thought I was delusional for dreaming of a world where off-the-shelf copies of Scarlet Johansson could be easily obtained. Turns out the BBC is being accused of being pro-Israel.
Guess there's a first time for anything. Read the whole story. I have a feeling this one is going to spin out in the next couple of weeks.
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15:22 |
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Saturday, August 13, 2005
Why 'The Island' is yet another unrealistic Michael Bay movie |
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Only Mr 'I don't shoot films, just two hour long videoclips' could envisage a world in which we can make an infinite number of copies of Scarlet Johansson, enough for everyone, and still dream up a dystopia.
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22:08 |
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It is done |
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Nearly 80,000 words and a few hundred illustrations. My new book on digital crime, 'Handboek Digitale Criminaliteit', is finally finished, except for the (er) inspirational quotes at the beginning at each chapter, and some thirteen cartoons which will have to be supplied by a talented outsider, as my artistic talents only slightly exceed the drawing abilities of a quadriplegic elephant with an amputated tail.
Suggestions for both quotes and artists are welcome.
If you're a legitimate journalist, and can read Dutch, drop me a line at recensie (at) zachtei. I'll make sure you'll get a free copy.
If you're not a legitimate journalist, offer me a bribe.
(Note: being a family member does not suffice as such. It may even earn you demerit points.)
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1:46 |
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Friday, August 12, 2005
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Are Dutch media deliberately downplaying terror threats? |
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I am just wondering, because this little civil war tidbit never appeared in Dutch newspapers. Elsevier News Weekly ran it on their website, though - after I'd tipped them off.
Now I have to read about a foiled bomb attack on Rotterdam at Robert John's blog (not that it isn't a delight to absorb his musings on miniskirts in Iran). Even more weird: Robert John gets his stuff from the Chinese (!) website Xinhua. Here's the story. Xinhua attributes all this to De Telegraaf, which is a large populist newspaper (though not nearly as bad as it's made out to be), but even if that's correct, why didn't any of the quality broadsheets pick it up? Or, for that matter, populist blog GeenStijl, which is closely intertwined with De Telegraaf? (I just did a query at their blog with search string 'Rotterdam' - no relevant results.)
Makes you wonder: has 'ignorance is bliss' become official media policy?
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19:46 |
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'ABSOLUTELY no terrorist threat' |
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'Look, the fact that we're mobilizing the entire Amsterdam police corps to an extent never before seen during the SAIL nautic event has nothing to do whatsoever with any specific terrorist threat. And no, we still haven't apprehended the guys who recently stole enough diving equipment to mount a major attack on, say, a bunch of tall ships. It's just that we want to be prepared, what with all those Al Qaeda guys roaming the world these days.'
Sheez. Why can't we have a government which doesn't patronize us at every bloody opportunity?
Anyway, I'll be at SAIL next Friday, and I'll bring a camcorder, so if something happens, I'll upload the footage here. Provided I survive, of course.
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17:05 |
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Ah, those memories |
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I empathize, mate. You'll get over it. I did.
(Only in my case she was a Kiwi girl, and we were walking around in Dublin, and I was way too shy in those days to suggest a trip to Phoenix Park, which was infamous in the middle nineties anyway, and my landlady was a very friendly, but also old-fashioned Catholic Irish woman, so that wasn't an option either.)
Douglas Adams was wrong. Knowing where your towel is isn't nearly as important as always having a twin-sized tent with you.
(Via Tim Blair.)
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2:55 |
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Submission, part II? |
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After the murder of Theo van Gogh I heard a lot of stories how he'd had it coming, as it was heresy to paint Qu'ran texts all over the naked body of a woman, as he had done in the now infamous movie Submission, part I.
< male chauvinist pig mode>
(I agree, by the way, there are a lot more useful things one can do with the naked body of a woman. Not sure if that's what Mohammed Bouyeri had in mind though.)
< /male chauvinist pig mode>
Anyway, I sure hope the Arabic text on her body (a) is just the literal translation of the English text, and (b) doesn't appear anywhere in the Qur'an.
Besides jest: why was this woman arrested? Running nude is illegal in the Netherlands too, but surely, the officers could have turned a blind eye. Most New Yorkers will probably have seen a nude woman before, and an arrest as a result of this provocation is probably exactly what she was aiming for. I may bitch from time to time about Dutch tolerance, but in this case, methinks the American coppers could have learned a thing or two from their Dutch colleagues, who would have ignored the woman, as you would a spoiled child.
(Yes, spoiled. Otherwise she'd be in Syria, although I can only applaud her good taste by remaining in the USA.)
(Via Rand Simberg.)
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2:33 |
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Wednesday, August 10, 2005
On Pieter Dorsman's Pillars of Europe |
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This analysis of Pieter of Europe's 'points for improvement' is food for thought. If and once I've formed some coherent thoughts on them, I may very well post them.
That being said, there's one thing I don't agree with. Pieter mentions the 'Hedonist complex' as a typical European problem (if it is a problem). Now, this may be due to my personal background, I come from an orthodox Christian family, but I've never thought of the Netherlands as being excessively hedonist. Even now, a significant percentage of the Dutch population (if you can be bothered to drive outside of Amsterdam) can be downright mundane in its morals and way of life.
For every Dutch 'coffee shop' there seems to be an American 'Burning Man' festival, and for every Dutch prostitute there's at least one Latino handing out leaflets full of 'horizontal refreshments' to congress visitors exiting a Las Vegas conference room. If anything, America may be even more hedonist than Europe, or at least offer more hedonist extremes, because with its culture of 'freedom and to hell with everybody else' such extremes have as least as much room for growth as they have here.
No, the problem (with the Netherlands at least, can't speak for the whole of Europe) isn't the presence of a Hedonist complex. Ignoring issues until it becomes impossible to do so is simply a way of life. There's even a proverb about it: the dock turns the ship ('de wal keert het schip').
In some cases, this policy works well as it leads to libertarian policies such as legalizing prostitution, permitting euthanasia and semi-legalizing marihuana, albeit for completely non-libertarian reasons. (In fact, without any moral impetus whatsoever.)
In the case of radical Islam, letting things be obviously does have exactly the opposite effect. Fascists don't start to see the joys of western civilization just because they're allowed to blow it up from the inside.
The Dutch have always, perhaps inadvertently, created freedom by letting things run their course. Now this policy works against them.
There is, however, a bright spot. The Dutch don't particularly appreciate anyone criticizing their tolerance, for they instinctively realize that some of their own freedoms probably stem from that tolerance as well.
Radical Muslims may well evoke the same response if they become violent. In fact, the sickening arson attacks against Dutch mosques in the wake of Van Gogh's murder may have shown how extremely intolerant the Dutch can be towards those who are intolerant towards the Dutch perception of tolerance. The dock may turn the ship once more.
Let's hope it will be done without arson attacks or other violence.
Update 16.05: Pieter has already responded. To which I can only say: good point.
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12:41 |
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Why I won't sign up with Pajamas Media |
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Their offer, of which legally I'm bound not to disclose any details, offers me more money than I currently get from Google Ads. This fact notwithstanding, I won't sign it. I felt reluctant to do so the first time I glanced at it, but couldn't exactly put my finger on the reason why. Ann Althouse, however, just did:
'With BlogAds, you're an independent entrepreneur, with Pajamas, you're more like an employee.'
That's it exactly. The Pajamas deal just feels too fixed, too solid, too secure, too safe, too cramped - too claustrophobic.
Though I am not able to sign up at Blogads - since they didn't accept European blogs when they started, and have now switched to a 'sponsor system' - I'd rather take my chances for the time being.
I wouldn't have taken the risk of quitting a top-notch job at one of the best publications in the Netherlands to start my own company if I were the kind of guy who likes to feel like an employee.
Nevertheless, I'd like to wish both Roger and Charles the best of luck with Pajamas Media. It's good to have as many business models as possible out there.
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12:23 |
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We do not break away from combat |
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Yaj! I ran ten miles yesterday night, for the first time in about a month and a half, and I'm not even sore this morning! (Well, I grossly overslept, making it noon already, but anyway...)
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12:15 |
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Aldi: 1. AH: 0 |
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A while ago, I realized something terrible. There used to be quite a lot of rather attractive female coeds shopping at my local supermarket, the rather upmarket 'AH'.
In Amsterdam, supermarkets are the places where people pick up dates. It's because of that we use little hand baskets while shopping, so other people can see if there are one or two pieces of meat in it.
But all of a sudden, they were all gone (the coeds, not the pieces of meat).
To my relief, whilst shopping at the rather downmarket 'Aldi' which had just opened a few weeks ago, I found out that's where they all had gone.
My life has a reason, yet again.
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12:09 |
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Comments policy, yet again |
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I am getting really, really tired of this. Apparently it's really hard to disagree without making the issue a personal one. I banned another person this morning for this reason.
Let me repeat it again: I have a zero tolerance policy towards personal attacks in any form, no matter how subdued, subtle or cowardly they are presented. If you have a point to make, make the point, without commenting on aspects of the person you are disagreeing with. And no, doing so indirectly does not make it any less uncivil.
This blog is my house on the internet. I will not have guests that don't behave themselves. Please respect the forum rules.
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11:35 |
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Tuesday, August 9, 2005
What were the spooks up to? |
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Is this payback from Mr. Ruud Lubbers, who had to resign at the United Nations because Kofi Annan really couldn't deal with yet another problem while he was fighting off the Americans in the oil-for-food scandal?
Or is there some truth to Mr. Lubbers' allegation that the CIA asked the Dutch to let the infamous nuclear spy Kahn go?
Or both?
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23:50 |
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Sunday, August 7, 2005
Why terrorists live on welfare |
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It's because Mohammed did so, too! Both Bouyeri and the London bombers lived on state support. According to Buzzmachine, who in turn quotes the Sunday Times, this kind of behavior is completely halal:
Instead, the young follower, Nasser, who receives £44 job seekers’ allowance a week, said it was permissible to “live off benefits”, just as the prophet Mohammed had lived off the state while attacking it at the same time. Even paying car insurance was seen as supporting the system. “All the (Saviour Sect) brothers drive without insurance,” he said.
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13:26 |
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Saturday, August 6, 2005
I thought we'd hit rock bottom long ago |
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Legislating the curvature of bananas isn't enough for the Politburo European Union. Now they're trying to outlaw Dirndl dresses.
(By the way, anyone going to the Oktoberfest? All in the name of standing up for (wo)man's God given right to wear Dirndl dresses, of course.)
(Hat tip to Michelle.)
Update 16.57: Rogier emails me that the EU has apparently already reinsured Bavarians that Dirndl dresses are here to stay. Good. Now, about the curvature of those bananas...
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12:34 |
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Friday, August 5, 2005
The system worked |
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Myrtus reports on how Mohammed Bouyeri nearly got hired at Schiphol Airport as a security agent.
The important word here is 'nearly'.
Bouyeri got rejected at the moment they did the obligatory background check - in other words, at the moment this should have happened.
Mind you, at the time, Bouyeri hadn't yet fallen in with radical Islam. He had a criminal record for having been involved in a brawl in 1997.
There've been a number of people commenting on this, most of them along the lines of 'how close we came to danger'.
Instead, this is a prime example how affairs should be conducted in a civilized country. Bouyeri had every right to apply for that job, just as much as the security services had a duty to stop him from getting it.
The system worked.
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17:49 |
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Dutch PBS doesn't want America-friendly anchor |
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What a surprise. The Dutch state news independent and impartial NOS Journaal doesn't want Mr. Charles Groenhuijsen to be its new anchor.
Part of the reason lies in Mr. Groenhuijsen's request to anchor the news broadcasts from Washington, DC, where he currently lives. However, it's easy to confuse cause and effect. Mr. Groenhuijsen has been at odds with the NOS Journaal for some time because he has said such fascist controversial things as:
'If all America had wanted were Iraq's oil reserves, Bush would have chosen the Chirac method, and invited Saddam over at his ranch to discuss business.'
'When I see whole American families signing up for the military to defend the freedom of others, some Dutch say: Americans are fanatics. I say: I salute you.'
and my personal favorite:
'Many Dutch are what they claim Americans to be: they are suffering from Torremolinos superficiality, BMW rudeness and Vinkeveen egotism.'
So of course I ordered his book ('Amerikanen zijn niet gek', or 'Americans aren't crazy') immediately.
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15:10 |
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Friday is not semi-nude day |
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Since none of you guys bothers to send in submissions (no Hirsi Ali pun intended).
So it's on to the UK then.
It seems I'm not the only one who's kinda fed up with inflammatory comments these days. Scott Burgess gives one of his commenters an appropriate fisking:
'I thought this example held some interest, only because it so accurately reflects a couple of specific attitudes commonly voiced by many on the left; namely:
* That the mere reporting of the most blatant expressions of hatred from Islamist extremists and their apologists constitutes something approaching racism (we'll accept this as shorthand, given the commenter's reference to a "racial group", which Islam of course is not).
* That those who suggest that people who despise and loathe their country of residence might be happier in a society that better represents the values they hold are trying to "exclude all dissent".'
Which explains why I am a leftie no more, I might add. Having a heart is no excuse to stop thinking.
(Mind you, I use both hemispheres, although many of my friends would probably want to challenge the mere assumption that I'm capable of thinking at all.)
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13:37 |
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Wednesday, August 3, 2005
You don't need to be a moron to work in PR |
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But it sure seems to help.
Let's just imagine an (entirely fictitious, of course) scenario, in which a journalist for Elsevier, sort of the Dutch 'Newsweek', is working to gather gadgets for a Holiday Season story.
The phone rings, and it's Dennis D., who works for an internationally renowned PR agency.
'Wouldn't it be a good idea for you to do a Top-10 of most popular gadgets,' Dennis asks, presumably having a fairly good idea of some products with which to fill those spots.
I am flabbergasted.
Of course, Dennis. I regularly let PR people do my work for me. All journalists who work for national media do that. Oh, and we take bribes too. Please transfer yours to IBAN NL48PSTB0006164485, BIC PSTBNL21. Gifts are not tax deductible.
Idiot.
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14:51 |
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Tuesday, August 2, 2005
Runner's low |
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I am not sure what's wrong with me, but ever since a rather successful 10 mile run a month ago I've been unable to repeat that achievement. I quite literally collapse after about 5 miles or so. Now I'm relatively new to this business, so I am asking for your advice. Is this a matter of having overexerted myself? An unbalanced diet? More protein, less carbs, or the other way around? Taking creatine, chondroitin, glucosamine or any other kind of supplement? On behalf of my acidic calves (and several other muscles), I thank you.
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22:30 |
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Monday, August 1, 2005
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