Unsatisfied readers, please don't email me

It's only to save you from further disappointment. I will most likely not be able to meet your expectations. I am sorry for that. I work about 80 hours a week, run my own company and am pursuing an MA thesis. I have taken about four days off in the past year and a half, so I may not have time to blog about the very same thing Pieter Dorsman already writes about at his excellent Peaktalk.

I apologize for being so selfish that at those rare occassions when I have time to fill my blog, I sometimes choose to write about personal affairs, so I can keep in touch with people I don't get to see very often. I hope Saint Peter will have mercy on me when I stand at the pearly gates some day. Perhaps the six Canada and America-based journalists whom I helped pro bono with their stories about Van Gogh and Islam in the Netherlands in the past few years, none of whom ever sent a thank you note, will speak up for me then, though it may be a good thing that being dead I'll be way past holding my breath.

It may also happen that I defend the freedom of speech of someone I don't fully agree with. If this person is holding opinions similar to your own, please accept my unreserved apologies for not writing exactly what you would have written if you hadn't been so lazy or cowardly to forego starting your own blog. I subsequently accept full responsibility for adhering to Voltaire's adage about defending someone's freedom of speech being especially important when you don't agree with that person.

Also, please accept my humblest apologies for blogging for free, rather than demanding donations or organizing annual/monthly/weekly 'pledge drives'. Should the contents of Zacht Ei nevertheless not be to your satisfaction, please be sure to contact me so we can work out a way for me to make amends. I suggest a scheme in which I will cut your grass with a nail clipper once for every time I let you down. Alternatively, you could perhaps sell one of my kidneys. Hey, I'm giving you a free piece of my mind already.

Finally, I am afraid I am too morally corrupt to be able to adequately respond to charges of anti-Americanism or spiritual retardation. After all, I only drove to an American war cemetery once last year, which still left me three days off I could have used less selfishly. I humly bow to your profound assessment of my mental valor, and can only hope to one day rise to a greatness of the kind that you, my dear unsatisfied reader, have already achieved.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go vomit.

18:38

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